Torn Asunder: Recovering From an Extramarital Affair

A resource on marital infedlity for all involved, even onlookersWritten by respected pastor and marriage counselor Dave Carder, this revised and expanded version of Torn Asunder sorts through the factors that contribute to infidelity and then maps out a recovery process for both partners. With compassion and wisdom rooted in the Bible, Carder offers insight for the victims of adultery, the perpetrators, and those who seek to help hurting couples.Along the way Carder also answers questions like:Why did this happen? We didn?t actually sleep together, so is it still an affair? Can I trust my spouse again? Should I reveal a secret affair? What if my spouse doesn?t want me back? What do we tell the kids?This refreshed and updated edition is an excellent resource for pastors, leaders, and lay people. Pair this with the Torn Asunder Workbook to for extra guidance in applying the book's advice to your marriage.  Review It is biblical. It is well researched. It is hopeful. It is practical. Dave Carder not only knows the subject, he lives in integrity as a man who walks his talk. His life, his teaching, his character, and his competency assure the reader that this book will change lives. - Dr. John Townsend, Author Fragile feelings. Fragmented relationships. Fractured marriages. Such knotty struggles provide the spawning grounds for moral and marital infidelity. Torn Asunder walks the reader into these seldom-mentioned scenes, offering insightful explanations as to why affairs occur, what recovery is possible, and what steps need to be taken to rebuild trust and intimacy. The prcess is neither pleasant nor easy, but it is realistic, and with God's help it can work. I especially appreciate the author's firm confidence that shattered marriages can be healed. - Chuck Swindoll, Pastor, Author, Radio Bible TeacherAs a therapist, I'm constantly confronted with the ravages and tragedies of affairs. In Torn Asunder, Dave Carder has tackled this crucially relevant topic head-on. Not only does he help the reader understand the under-lying dynamcs that make one vulnerable to an affair, but he also assists couples in the process of rebuilding their relationship after an affair has occurred. This book is a must for any married couple, not only to assist them in dealing with freinds who have been involved in affairs but also as a preventative tool for affair-proofing their own marriage. - Janet M. Congo, M.Ed.; M.A., Marriage and Family Therapist, Author About the Author DAVE CARDER serves as Pastor of Counseling Ministries at First Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton, CA. His specialty is Adultery Recovery and Prevention for which he has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Network, Discovery Health, and The Learning Channel, has done training for the US Army and Navy, plus multiple tapings for The Tony Robbins Passion Project, Marriage Uncensored, 100 Huntley Street, Salvation Army Leadership Training, and the American Association of Christian Counselors. His interviews and articles have appeared inLadies Home Journal, USA Today, The Counseling Connection, and various other magazines and journals. He is the author or co-author ofTorn Asunder: Recovering from an Extramarital Affair, Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage, andUnlocking Your Family Patterns: Finding Freedom from a Hurtful Past. He holds the Michigan Limited License for Psychology and the California Marital and Family Therapy license, and has graduate degrees in Biblical Literature and Counseling Psychology. Dave and his wife, Ronnie, have been married 49 years, have four adult children, and eight grandchildren.DR. JOHN TOWNSEND is a psychologist, relational expert, business consultant, and leadership coach. He has written or co-written over 20 books, selling 5 million copies, including the 2 million best-sellerBoundaries;Leadership Beyond Reason; andHandling Difficult People.For mo